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@harrisonqian / Connection & Community Playbook / wiki/event-formats.md
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--- visibility: public-edit --- # event formats that work specific event formats that create genuine connection, tested by real communities. each one optimizes for a different thing — pick the format that matches your goal. --- ## co-working + demo (the socratica format) **goal:** productive work sessions with built-in accountability and community **group size:** 8-30 **duration:** 3-4 hours **cadence:** weekly **the format:** 1. introductions — name, what you're working on today (2 min total per person) 2. work block 1 — 50 minutes of focused work 3. short break — 5 minutes, stretch, get water 4. work block 2 — 50 minutes 5. demos — anyone can share what they worked on. rough is fine. google docs, napkin sketches, half-working prototypes all count. 6. hang out — snacks, conversation, the social part **why it works:** the demo creates a natural reason to talk to each other. "hey, loved your demo — how did you approach [thing]?" is 10x better than "so... what do you do?" people bond over shared creative energy. the format also filters for doers over talkers. **failure modes:** skipping demos (then it's just a coworking space), making demos feel like presentations (keeps it casual or people get stage fright), not having snacks (people leave immediately after demos). --- ## the dinner party **goal:** deep conversation, intimacy, shared experience **group size:** 6-12 (8 is the sweet spot) **duration:** 2-4 hours **cadence:** weekly, biweekly, or monthly **the format (sunday dinners style):** 1. cooking together (optional but powerful — shared labor builds bonds) 2. sit-down dinner with intentional seating (mix people who don't know each other) 3. a question or prompt for the table: "what are you most excited about right now?" or "what's a lesson you learned the hard way?" 4. dessert/drinks — conversation flows naturally by this point **key decisions:** - **who cooks?** options: host cooks, everyone brings a dish (potluck), cook together. cooking together is the most bonding but the most chaotic. - **seating?** for 8+ people, assigned-ish seating prevents friend-clusters from forming. just put name cards out. - **conversation structure?** one prompt for the whole table works for 6-8 people. for 10+, you need a more structured round or the table fragments into side conversations. **the nick gray overlay:** apply the 2-hour cocktail party principles to dinner — name tags, structured [[icebreakers|icebreaker]] at the start, a hard end time. **failure modes:** too many people (kills intimacy), no conversation structure (defaults to weather/work chat), same people every time (becomes a friend group, not a community). --- ## the hackathon (social edition) **goal:** intense collaboration, making things together, energy **group size:** 15-60 **duration:** 4-12 hours (or a full weekend) **cadence:** monthly or quarterly **the format:** 1. arrivals + food 2. pitch session — anyone with an idea pitches it in 60 seconds 3. team formation — people join projects they're excited about 4. build time — 3-8 hours of focused work 5. demos — each team presents what they built 6. voting/prizes (optional — can create energy but also competitiveness) 7. social time **what makes it connection-oriented (not just a coding sprint):** - team formation is where the magic happens. working with strangers on a shared problem for 6 hours creates real bonds. - keep the pitches short and low-stakes. "i want to build X, who's in?" not a full slide deck. - provide food and drinks throughout. hungry people leave. - demos should celebrate effort, not polish. **failure modes:** too competitive (people optimize for winning, not connecting), solo builders (defeats the purpose), overly rigid themes (kills creativity). --- ## demo day **goal:** showcase work, create serendipitous connections, celebrate builders **group size:** 20-100 **duration:** 2-3 hours **cadence:** monthly or quarterly **the format:** 1. 5-8 presenters, each gets 5-7 minutes + 3 minutes Q&A 2. break between presentations for mingling 3. social hour after all presentations **what makes it work:** - curate the presenters. a mix of stages (early idea → shipped product) keeps it interesting. - the audience should be 3-5x the number of presenters. enough to create energy, not so many that it feels like a conference. - the break between presentations is where connections happen. don't rush through. - demos should show the thing, not talk about the thing. screen shares, live demos, physical prototypes. **failure modes:** too many presenters (audience fatigues after 8), no social time (people sit, watch, leave), presenters who pitch instead of demo. --- ## the unconference this format also works for [[online-community|virtual gatherings]] with breakout rooms replacing physical spaces. **goal:** participant-driven discussion, emergent topics, distributed leadership **group size:** 20-100 **duration:** half day or full day **cadence:** quarterly or annual **the format (open space technology):** 1. opening circle — everyone gathers. the facilitator explains the rules. 2. marketplace — anyone can propose a session topic. write it on a sticky note, announce it to the group, put it on the schedule board. 3. sessions — multiple sessions run in parallel. each session is 30-60 minutes. 4. closing circle — reconvene, share takeaways. **the law of two feet:** if you're in a session and you're not learning or contributing, leave and go to another one. this is the core rule — it gives people permission to follow their energy. **the four principles:** 1. whoever comes are the right people 2. whatever happens is the only thing that could have 3. whenever it starts is the right time 4. when it's over, it's over **why it works:** no pre-planned speakers means topics are exactly what the group cares about right now. the law of two feet prevents dead sessions from holding people hostage. **failure modes:** no one proposes sessions (prime the pump with 3-4 pre-planned topics), too many sessions (limit to 3-4 parallel tracks), no closing circle (people miss the synthesis). --- ## dorm lectures / salon **goal:** intellectual conversation, learning, meeting people through ideas **group size:** 10-30 **duration:** 1.5-2 hours **cadence:** weekly or biweekly **the format:** 1. one person presents a topic they're deeply interested in (15-20 minutes). not a polished talk — more like "here's what i've been thinking about." 2. open discussion (30-40 minutes). the presenter facilitates but doesn't dominate. 3. social time — drinks, snacks, continued conversation. **what makes it work:** - the presenter doesn't need to be an expert. "i've been reading about [topic] and here's what confused me" is a better talk than a TED-style polished presentation. - the discussion should feel like a conversation, not a Q&A. the presenter's job is to ask good questions back. - rotating presenters means everyone gets a chance to share their obsessions. **failure modes:** only one person ever presents (becomes a lecture series, not a community), discussion gets dominated by one voice (facilitator needs to actively redirect), topics are too niche (audience can't engage). --- ## the walk-and-talk **goal:** deep 1-on-1 conversation, relationship building **group size:** 2 (or small groups of 3-4) **duration:** 45-90 minutes **cadence:** as needed **the format:** meet somewhere. walk. talk. that's it. **why it's underrated:** - side-by-side conversation removes the intensity of face-to-face - movement creates energy and reduces awkwardness - no phones (hard to text and walk) - natural end point when the walk ends - fresh air and nature are genuinely good for conversation quality **when to use:** reconnecting with someone after a long gap, having a difficult conversation, getting to know someone new without the pressure of a "meeting," [[relationship-maintenance|relationship repair]]. --- ## format comparison | format | best for | group size | prep required | connection depth | |---|---|---|---|---| | co-working + demo | builder communities | 8-30 | low | medium | | dinner party | intimate groups | 6-12 | medium | high | | hackathon | high-energy collaboration | 15-60 | high | medium-high | | demo day | showcasing work | 20-100 | medium | low-medium | | unconference | large group discussion | 20-100 | low | medium | | salon/dorm lecture | intellectual community | 10-30 | medium | medium-high | | walk-and-talk | deep 1-on-1 | 2-4 | none | very high | --- ## meta-principles for any format 1. **have a hard end time.** people commit more easily when they know when it ends. "7-9pm" is better than "7pm onwards." 2. **feed people.** food is social lubricant. it doesn't need to be fancy — chips and salsa work. 3. **name tags at 15+ people.** nobody remembers 15 names. don't make them pretend. 4. **someone has to be the host.** not the "chill host" who lets things happen — an active host who starts the icebreaker, redirects conversation, makes [[introductions]]. priya parker's rule (from [[books-resources|The Art of Gathering]]): a gathering without a host is just people in a room. 5. **create a reason to return.** "same time next week" is the most powerful sentence in [[building-community|community building]].