Suggest edit — framing-and-narrative

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# framing and narrative: how you describe things changes what they are

this kept coming up across conversations, reflections, and ideaflow notes. the way you frame something — to others and to yourself — isn't just marketing. it changes the actual experience and outcomes.

## the reframe discovery

"perspective switch for optimism is so real. always look for it."

the startup founders modeled this constantly. hardware broke? "now we know what not to do." bad test result? "we learned something." intern struggling? "making mistakes and growing."

at first this felt like cope. then i realized it was a genuine cognitive skill.

## branding yourself

"branding really important. write about projects, speak about projects, make videos about projects. good way to attract attention: talk about coolest projects."

how you introduce yourself matters. the evolution:
- bad: "i'm a high school student"
- better: "student, experience in X, testing out some ideas related to Y"
- best: just have something impressive to show. "having a pretty fucking cool thing to show off and demo is very powerful. go make that thing."

a mentor's advice: "be accurate. right now 'high school student' is chill. don't introduce yourself as high school though — it's reasonable that people don't want to talk to you." the framing isn't lying — it's choosing which true things to emphasize.

"being technical is crazy good. effortlessly impress." the best brand is just being genuinely capable and letting it show naturally.

## the narrative trap

"in one framing, dropping out and doing a startup is crazy good — have the skills, success, learn, meet people. in another it's hella scary — dropping out of school, leaving everything behind, uncertain trajectory."

both framings are equally true. the one you adopt determines your actions. this isn't self-deception — it's recognizing that reality is complex enough to support multiple honest narratives, and you get to choose which one drives your behavior.

but: "it is so easy to get fooled by hype." framing can also be a trap when someone else is doing it. a mentor calling something "revolutionary" doesn't make it revolutionary. "ai assistant is only good in theory but in practice many things suck."

the skill is deploying good framing for yourself while maintaining skepticism about others' framing.

## framing for communication

"need to frame feedback / thoughts well. important to say them but also need to deliver them humanly and accurately."

from navigating a difficult team situation: "many instincts for things to say (to be logical) but tried empathy & validation and that seemed to work well." the strategy:
1. state my needs
2. frame it as "we are working together"
3. expand the state of possible outcomes
4. find framings that aren't hurtful — "hurtful framings exist but they are never the only framing"

## the articulation effect

"if something is articulated better, i remember it and its importance more, and then i think about it more." this is the most practical insight about framing: writing something down well literally makes it more real in your brain.

"whenever i get inspiration for something being good i should articulate it well to remember it." the act of finding the right words for an experience doesn't just describe it — it solidifies it.

this is why the [[daily reflections|learning-from-experience]] worked: not because reviewing notes was useful (though it was), but because the act of articulating what happened forced me to actually understand it.

## framing for motivation

more nuanced version from the startup CEO: "greatest thing that can happen to someone is alignment of pleasure and goals. spend more time trying to align them." the ultimate framing challenge isn't making bad things seem good — it's restructuring your actual values so that what you want to do and what you should do converge.

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*see also: [[mindset shifts|mindset-shifts]], [[social strategy|social-strategy]], [[disagreeing productively|disagreeing-productively]]*